HE’S BEHIND YOU! No he’s not. He’s slipped out from the coat-barrier you created to barricade him in and your little darling is running towards the stage, trousers falling down, soggy nappy on show, chocolate round his mouth and shouting ‘me kiss Iggle Piggle. Me kiss Iggle Piggle’.
You jump up, spilling Haribo and full fat coke all over the nice middle class women and her immaculate kids sitting next you, quaffing mountain water and organic rice cakes. You mention something about leaving the home-made quinoa bars at home and waddle, dragging your humungous 8.5 month pregnant body across the laps of tutting parents (what happened to all being in this together) and try to distract and instruct your 2 year old with semaphore and naughty step gestures*.
Ahhhhhhh, the happy memories of culturally beneficial theatre trips with toddlers!
It doesn’t have to be like this! All the theatres we’ve chosen are providers of brilliant children’s shows with excellent family friendly facilities. You never know, with a prevailing wind you may even be able to finish your Hairbos in peace.
Please send us details of any other theatres you love.
*no large, plush CBeebies characters were harmed in the creating of this (true) story.
