Eat C**k-Porn At Ar**holes – & Other Stuff Our Gin Kids Say

Eat C**ck Porn at A**eholes

When they start to talk……..

We are so excited when they start to talk; every new word fills us with joy and hearing their tiny little voice emerge is wonderful….. but wait a minute ….. did my little angel just shout ‘d**k’ really loudly in the chemist?!

This is for poor Benedict who will forever be known as Bendy D**k, and Uncle Chris whose name sounds a bit too much like p**s to be pronounced correctly in the supermarket.

In honour of all the nans who tell their grandchildren that they are having s**t and sugar for pudding – apparently its quite common in some parts of the country!

Congratulations also to our children for their rhyming skills: Thank you / w**k you, sock / c**k, good luck / good f**k, so its bye – die from me!

If you are not quite sure what your child is trying to say to you – check out this list, compiled with the help of the potty-mouthed Gin Kids in our Facebook group. It might just mean you can explain yourself to all the disapproving shocked faces in the high street as your child merrily shouts out ‘c*ck’ from the push chair (there are few options for that one!).

These are all words regularly shouted by Gin Kids – mostly in public places. Out of the mouths of babes and all that….

 

The MGF Potty-Mouthed Kid’s Dictionary:

Arseholes = Our House 

Big tit or big s**t (one is definitely more preferable than the other!) = Biscuit

Bitch = Bridge

Bum holes = Butlins (not too far from the truth on our last visit!)

Cheesy b**ches = Cheesy biscuits 

C**k = Sock

C**k c**k = Chocolate

Also c**k = Clock – this one is very common – so if your child is heard shouting this, do a quick look round for the time

C*ckland = London – where everyone speaks cockney

C**k porn = Pop Corn

Dick = Stick – usage includes: big dick, where’s my dick, shall I hold your walking dick, give me the dick……

F**k = Fox

F**k/ f**king knife = Fork and Knife

F**ker = Foca – Portuguese for Seal – perfectly reasonable to shout this whilst in Portugal, of course – if there are in fact some seals around, otherwise may still cause offence

F**k Rockets = Swashbuckle (popular cBeebies pirate show) – doesn’t even really sound like it but hilarious all the same!

F**king yellow = Black and yellow

Gay Bob = Jacob

Pass the Arsehole = Pass the parcel

Peanut = Penis

Pish, Piss = Fish

Raisin Hamburger – Hot Cross Bun (I actually really like the sounds of this one for some reason!)

Stinky Wee Wee = Tinky Winky – cannot forget this one and it’s all I think of when I see Teletubbies

Tosser = Costa

Willy bulbs = Testicles – actually makes sense!

Willy Poo = Winnie the Pooh – (sounds totally gross!)

What is the most x-rated thing your child has said? Come and join the discussion in our facebook group.

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Lisa is a mum of 2 muddy boys, finally enjoying a bit of work/life balance after starting her own business as a Professional Declutterer and Organiser alongside private Social Work assessments. She loves sewing, baking and helping others get organised and make space in their homes and minds. www.clutterfl.co.uk / @clutter.free.living

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